A moment of definition

We forever are parading upon as an existence. Strange to each other but what about to ourselves. There are a million mysteries to be solved within the individual.

The dark depths of your spirit hold good, bad, ugly, distorted, Perfect, Solidifying, Beautiful and strange things. The methods of digging through these depths differ. I have my own tools and methods that i use and as of 2 nights ago i experienced stuff about myself i knew was there but couldn’t except. Facing your “demons” so to. Amazing crippling, eye opening, strange experience indeed.

To see that yes indeed my intention is a powerful powerful expression of my spirit and mind. To see and hear the results of intentions some i buried in memory was an amazing experience. To be sure that beyond this life and dimension, without doubt. Gaining the proof i need to solidify what i believe in, and to feel the love of reality and the universe as a whole.

These ranting paragraphs might be poorly put together and i am sorry for the confusion if any is caused but it is hard to boil down into words exactly what i felt. I guess i could say it helped me define who I am to myself and the likes of the surrounding energy. I was able to identify my fatal flaw, lack of love for myself. I was able to communicate with something so grand and so universal that i feel a comfort in every step i have taken since my experience.

I truly hope maybe my words will inspire someone to take a dive into the depths of your spirit. Though some corners might instill fear it is there for a reason and looking beyond the simplification of one emotion and seeing it for the grand scheme amazing portrait it really is eases any fear that could be caused by any outside force.

I encourage you guys to research your methods find your ways and ultimately look into yourself. Because there is nothing boring about the individual there is nothing bland, there is never a point where there wont be something else to learn. For when we hit that point i know what would come next i have strength in those words, the ultimate goal unify and ascend.

What about this world?

A simple question a simple simple question…. What about this world bothers you to your very core? That sickening tight chest feeling of disgust what about this world and society we are involved in makes you feel that.

Ask yourself that question and see what answers you gain. its never a pretty picture. But that leaves the thought can anything pretty or beautiful be made from the image of destruction and anguish we are experiencing in this dimension. Unity consciousness seems like a good solution but could it be the cure. Maybe ascension is the only hope for the individual and along with that duality like statement you are brought into a spectrum were unity seems more capable and understanding…. So what is it about this world that bothers you?


It’s not always easy, Especially on your journey when you reach amazing milestones the universe will throw itself at you to test you to see how durable and dedicated you have actually become. As of recent in my life something very very very trying has come about. Right after the storm of settling in home with a new kid and getting a whole bunch of stuff for my house that was needed. Finally making my home feel like a home. Now it seems as though a strange celestial rift has come about to shatter the portrait of home and now all i see is a broken image of what i had only days ago. The point of this is, I want to give up, i want to recede to my old ways and cope with drugs, or fighting, or manipulating peoples minds for my own sick gain or entertainment. But instead even in the deep depression i felt this morning i got up when i heard my alarm. I dragged my feet through the house got ready and here i am about to go about a day of work. Facing my own grief but still moving forward. As hard as that is, as much as my depression is telling me call out, I can not do that. I have to keep moving. Not even to keep my mind busy and off the reality of my situation, because thats what i play video games for. Just to keep moving, prove to myself and the universe you can throw anything at me, you have my whole entire life, shit you fashioned my body to be scarring my kidneys and poisoning me from birth, and curved legs from the knee down, yet my kidneys are fully functional, and i walk a straight line despite the pain i have normal legs. So here is my ballad to you universe, My progress is something i realize as a real thing. Sure in times like this i question my beliefs but for anyone reading this, if you go through a struggle like this feeling that is natural, of course you’ll question life in itself if its a situation that really hits at home, The difference is, are you going to let it control you? are you going to give up on everything you have built? are you gonna wither away and just let go? are you going to back pedal and undo however many years, days, weeks, minutes or seconds of progress you have made?

Progress for the sake of progress? Not this time, not this time at all

Progress for the sake of life, for the ability to get up and continue to evolve… Not change… Evolve. Progress for my son, who is involved in this twisted situation at such a delicate age. Progress so maybe i wont want to break down every time a thought comes across my mind. Progress…. Find what the true definition of progress is to you, and what it means, how important it is to you. Than decide, if its worth giving up. As much as i want to, I say no… it is not worth giving up